A few years ago I used to blog all the time. Several times a week. In some ways, it was a place that I could express myself because I was too afraid or confused about who I was anywhere else.
But now, I’m more private about those personal expressions. I’m older (25 is soooo old haha), and more often than not I go to write a blog post and can’t think of anything I want to say. “It’s going out to the world, so it should be valuable,” I think. “What exactly do I have to say of value?”
Maybe I’ve just come to realize that my experiences are so limited and my knowledge so narrow, that I wonder how I will ever be able to say something of worth to the world at all. And so I stare at the blank screen.
I know my life matters. It matters to me and the people who interact with me. It matters to my family and my friends. But what exactly about my life matters to the world? And I guess, that begs the question:
Why do we blog?
Why do we think our details are of worth to strangers on the internet?
I guess the answer is, that they just are. As humans, we are fascinated with each other. Somehow we think that understanding other humans will help us understand ourselves. Or at least define ourselves in comparison to them. Listening to different ideas can help us flesh out our own. Do we agree, or disagree? How?
And that’s another thing, I read so many blogs with various opinions, and I am almost shocked at how concrete they present the world. How convinced they are that this is right and that will not change.
I am always hesitant to comment on politics or religion, because it’s difficult to do so tactfully. Besides, I have thought and said many things that i don’t think anymore. As I’ve met new people and studied new things, my worldview changes. I would hate to write something today that I will regret in a year. And writing seems so final. I don’t feel like anything I have to say is final. I hope not. I want to grow and learn more. I want everything to be a work in progress, and how exactly does that work on a blog? I think I’ve posed more questions today than answered them. But if you’ve ever wondered where I am in the blogosphere, you now know my answer.