Endure To The End

I finished my application for the English Teaching Major!!! Scream and cheer ladies and gents ’cause it’s probably the most complex application for a major ever- I don’t think applying for BYU was nearly as hard. Nope there was less writing and no video. In the process of writing one of the essays, I ended up talking about learning how to write and thought I’d share, especially since I had to edit a lot of it out of the essay for length.

I came to BYU, a bright-eyed eighteen-year-old, with a Dining Plus card, an underused laptop, and an English major. I signed up for Honors 150 eager to sink my teeth into the college class that would prepare me to enter my discipline. Throwing myself into the first paper, a personal narrative, I felt like I really captured my chosen experience in those eight pages and did some soul-searching self-analysis to boot. I had even written the paper days before hand, revised it twice, AND had several classmates look over it for me. This was the formula for success, or so I thought. It turns out; this was the formula for mediocrity (which is what a B looks like to a high school valedictorian).
This became the pattern for the next couple of papers I turned it. Intense writing, the likes of which I had never engaged in before, followed up by severe disappointment. But it wasn’t the lower-than-expected-grades that were so frustrating—it was the fact that my teacher was looking for something in my writing that no matter how hard I tried, even after writing lectures, and one-on-one writing conferences, I couldn’t give her. It felt like everyone else in the class, even the non-English majors got it, and I didn’t. And I didn’t know what else I could do.
I started looking at other majors, convinced that because I just wasn’t a writer I couldn’t major in English despite my love for literature. But there was one problem with that—I have a very difficult time leaving things undone. It would have been one thing if I realized that I didn’t like literature as much as I thought I did, or liked something better, but the option I had proposed was defeat in disguise and so I decided to take English 251 the following semester. Eventually it came, not in a mere matter of months, but it came. Now I actually enjoy writing, I’ve come to appreciate the beauty of the painful process. A process that is by no means over.

P.S. I’m not sure who bought the LIFE cereal, but I was dead coming home after finishing my application, a very hungry dead person I might add, and I love life cereal more than a lot of types of food that should logically taste better. So thank you roommate or heavenly messenger that delivered them. They were much appreciated.

Advertisements

One thought on “Endure To The End

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s